OLDER ADVICE
   
Q:

September 10, 2000

Hello,

My name is Cathleena. I am a student at Loyola Marymount University in California. I was priviledged enough to see the movie Abre Los Ojos in my film class this last week. Along with the rest of my class, I was extreamely impressed, to say the least.

The reason I am writing this is because I would love to buy a copy of Open Your Eyes, however, my search has had negative results. I was hoping you would have more information on how and where I can purchase the tape.

Your assistance would be greatly appreciated.

Thank You

   
A:

Dear Cathleena,

Thanks for asking. My wisdom is as wide as the oceans, and as vast as the expanse of pimples on a McDonald's cashier's cheek.

   
Q:

September 8, 2000

In football, if a team attempts a field goal on 3rd down and physically kicks the ball and misses, do they get to try again in 4th down?

doot

   
A:

Dear doot,

The VCD is a Video Compact Disc, a format not supported in America but widely used in Asia. They are cheap, and that's why you can go to Taiwan and find new movies (i.e. pirated movies still playing in theaters) for about $1 US. They came out before DVDs, and companies in the US decided that it wasn't worth the effort to market them. The picture quality is a lot worse, and companies figured that the right technology (i.e. DVDs) would come about shortly, which they did.

   
Q:

August 30, 2000

I just watched the film Angela's Ashes and I was struck by Michael Legge. Do you know where I can find more information about him? How old is he? Is he single, j/k :-). Anyways, please write back. Thanks!

-Lindsey

   
A:

Dear Lindsey,

Of course those Mentos commercials look stupid. They are not American. Mentos are from Europe, somewhere in Scandanavia, I think. Who knows what they are thinking. It must be what passes for cool or hip over there. It certainly looks dumb here. Uh, if I want a pin-striped suit, why would I roll around on a freshly painted bench, even if I sat on it by accident? In fact, Mentos commericals may be an insidious plot by Europeans to take over America by disgusting the heck out of everybody who watches television.

   
Q:

August 24, 2000

i want to go buy the CD for house on hunted hill can you plaese give me the name of the CD

Wrestler0984

   
A:

Dear Wrestler0984,

I understand your confusion, but there is a difference between a Certificate of Deposit and a Compact Disc. As you found out, sticking the former into your stereo does not accomplish much. Now, if you want to leave it there until it matures, then you can make the arguement that it accomplished something, but by doing that, you cannot listen to any of the latter.

   
Q:

August 22, 2000

how much did the special effects cost for the haunting and can you tell me any more about them

BPTBBA

   
A:

Dear BPTBBA,

I really hate stupid people. Let me relate a story that happened at a grocery store that I will leave unnamed (after all, I wouldn't want to embarass the nice people at VONS). My lightbulb blew, and I had no more, so I stopped by the local store (VONS) and bought a pack of bulbs. At the register, the lady asked me if I wanted to use my card (VONS card). When I got the bulbs, I noticed that there was no special discount with the card, so I asked her, "Will it make a difference? Will the price be any lower?" and she responded, "Um, no, but don't you want to use your VONS card?" HELLO? Let's not make anybody any more paranoid about all these rumors that these grocery cards are only a scheme to track customer buying habits.

   
Q:

August 21, 2000

Hi I was wondering if you could tell me how I can find Hallie Kate Eisenberg agents name and or address? Or where I might be able to look it up?

Thank you

Deanna

   
A:

Dear Deanna,

First, let me say that people like you and I are very lucky. For anybody who has not tried In N Out, they are truly missing out on something great. There is a reason why the average employment period for employees is so much longer than other fast food restaurants, and there is a reason why it is almost always near or at the top of the list on national franchises. There is no difference between ordering items individually or ordering a value meal. You think there would be, but I think they just do it to make things easier.

   
Q:

August 18, 2000

Dear Answer Man,

Haro spoke of a movie titled "better living through circuitry", a movie about raves in his review of the film "groove". I've never heard of "better living..." but am interested in seeing it and was wondering if you could tell he if it is in theatres or out for rent, or ant other information on it or any other movies about raves.

Thank you much,

Lisa P.

   
A:

Dear Lisa P.,

You owe your friend dinner! Hikers going uphill do indeed have right of way on trails, but horses and mules supercede them always. Yes, it sucks sometimes, but those are the unoffical rules, so that's how you're supposed to behave on the trail. Mountain bikers are another thing.

   
Q:

August 16, 2000

My boyfriend's parents are trying to break us up but we won't let them do it we are trying to work together but both his parents are trying to get us to turn on eachother but we are trying not to let them what can I do if i really want to kick their asses? I love him to death he is the sweetest guy that I have ever been with he makes me feel good about myself and I do the same for him. They are always telling him that he is fat and lazy, he has a job, and he is 6'5 and 220lbs. I really don't think that he is fat but he is starting to think that he is because of his parents. WHAT DO I DO?

Confused

   
A:

Dear Confused,

Be the bigger person. So your friend didn't give you a thank you note. If you mention it, it will probably put a strain in your friendship.

   
Q:

August 14, 2000

I consider myself to be pretty good on AOL.........but one thing I just can seem to find is a site that will give me County, City and there zipcodes? I would like to just type in the State and have this come up..........do you know of any site like this? (US only)

Thanks,

Bobbie

   
A:

Dear Bobbie,

I've been listening to the radio a lot lately, and I've heard a lot of commercials for cell phones and the like. And they piss me off. Why do they have to keep using actors with uncles/cousins/friends who are shepherds? Is there some rich shepherd demographic that I don't know about? Hello? Will knowing hearing constantly about shepherds somehow entice me to buy cell phones?

   
Q:

August 13, 2000

Hello,

I have two daughters that are Figure skaters. Each has inquired about a possible piece of music to perform to that is used in Minute Maid commercials of recent vintage.

I have searched the net and contacted both Minute Maid and the Coca-Cola Company (Parent to Minute Maid) and have obtained no answers. The closest I got was that their advertizing agency handled the music selection and they would not release the name of the agency.

Can you help?

Tom, Kimberly & Krista Kelly

   
A:

Dear Tom, Kimbery & Krista Kelly,

With the election just on the horizon, I feel it is my duty to tell everybody to vote. Or not vote when voting. Nothing says you must pop that little hole out of the paper. You can exercise your civic duty to abstain from an issue. Last election, people in California made a big fuss about putting a 'None of the Above' choice on the ballot. Hello? It's already there. Oh, and always vote no for judges. It makes them nervous.

   
Q:

August 12, 2000

How can I learn more about "The Association in Defence of the Wrongly Convicted"?

Thank you,

Kim

   
A:

Dear Kim,

It's always nice to hear that your marriage lasted so long. Your fidelity and love is surely something that you should be proud of.

   
Q:

August 6, 2000

Dear Answerman I would very much like to write to the director of the movie"Boys Don't Cry" and express my gratitude to her for the wonderful work she did on this project. Could you send me her e-mail contact?

Kiddiescam

   
A:

Dear Kiddiescam,

Those computer rebates really aren't worth it. Sure, it's nice to say you bought a computer with a huge discount, but then you're obligated to pay obscene amounts of money for a couple of years for Internet service. First, the total amount of money you pay for the service will be more than the rebate. Second, you can usually get Internet access cheaper anyway.

   
Q:

August 4, 2000

I have a question about the movie Love and basketball when is it coming out of home video?

Thanks,

Kim

   
A:

Dear "Kim,"

Relationships that last are built on a foundation of trust. "John" obviously violated that trust and that disturbs you. It is good to want to talk about it. If you ignore it, you are just setting yourself up for the same thing to happen again. Sit down and talk to him about it.

   
Q:

August 4, 2000

dear answerman....

I have been searching for hours for that one song in the film "Last Night" - Don Mckeller. It's a Spanish song that his character loves playing on the record. It's also been in a commercial recently. If you could tell me what that song is - it will be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much!

   
A:

Dear Blue023,

There is no Wang and there is no Chung in Wang Chung. The original members were Jack Hues, Nick Feldman, and Darren Costin.

   
Q:

July 28, 2000

Do yo happen to know if it has ever rained frogs. I recently saw this in the movie, Magnolia, and although it struck me as being somewhat biblical, I can think of several logical explanations.

Stephen

   
A:

Dear Stephen,

Cleanliness is a very important factor in how your girlfriend will view you. If you really want to impress her, clean your apartment. And I mean really clean. dust everywhere, arrange things neatly, put a lot of effort into it. And DO NOT forget the bathroom. Wipe that sucker down good, the toilet, the sink, the shower, everything.

   
Q:

July 28, 2000

Why do people cut their dogs tails? is it any health reason?

Glenda

   
A:

Dear Glenda,

I've heard Billy Gilman's songs, and yeah, I can see why you think he is annoying. A little boy singing about the hardships of the world gets tiring really fast. However, I must vehemently disagree with your plans to beat him up, for two main reasons. One, it is very inappropriate, and you can get in big trouble. Two, keep in mind what he sings about. If you beat him up, he'll probably write a song about it, and how he survived and became stronger, then you'll never hear the end of it.

   
Q:

July 13, 2000

What kind of computer does Bill Gates actually use?

PBIttap40flowers

   
A:

Dear PBIttap40flowers,

The Gang of Four consisted of Jiang Quing, Zhang Chunqiao, Wang Hongwen, and Yao Wenyuan. They were die-hard Chinese Communists who rose to power during the Cultural Revolution.

   
Q:

July 8, 2000

I live in an area that is right next to a river and our house is probibly 75 years old . I was told that we could not build anything new unless it is aprox 10 feet above the ground due to fema regulations . Then I was told by someone else that if your house is 50 years or oldedr you can build anything on the property it is on as long as it is not connected to the house with out permits due to the grandfauther clause. My question is does the grandfauther clause serpass fema regulations.

Kim S.

   
A:

Dear Kim S.,

You need to tell your in-laws that while they are staying at your house they are your guests, and need to abide by your rules. Walking around in the nude may be okay in their house, but is not appropriate in front of your small children.

   
Q:

July 7, 2000

yes i was wondering to you have the movie dinner game for sale. i really want that movie. Please e-mail. Thank you,

Ben

   
A:

Dear Ben,

Looking both ways before crossing the street will do for now. But in the future, with those hover cars, you're going to need to look both ways AND up.

   
Q:

July 5, 2000

Hi,

I'm trying to rent or buy the movie Show Me Love. I live in Virginia and can't seem to find it. If you know where to find this movie I would love to know. Thank you!

Samantha

   
A:

Dear Samantha,

I'm not too sure what fork goes with what dish, so when I have a lot of utensils at a sit down meal, I just start on the outside, then work my way in. Same with the food.

   
Q:

July 2, 2000

Hello Mr. AnswerMan!!!!

I Have A Question For You! Ok Are You Sure That You Can Answer This Well Here It Is Anyways! How Are You????? I Must Know This It Is Very Important! Ok I Must Leave Now G'Bye! *~fAiRy~*

   
A:

Dear *~fAiRy~*,

I know it sounds like that. Most people think it does. Especially when they're growing up. They watch the commercials, and the see the guy with the hat and the elephant, or the bear, or the tiger. But let me set the record straight. The words in the jingle are "Go see Cal, go see Cal, go see Cal," not "pussy cow, pussy cow, pussy cow."

   
Q:

June 28, 2000

Can you tell me where how i can find a print of the rene margritte painting Son of Man in the movie the Thomas Crown Affair thank you

Moranart

   
A:

Dear Moranart,

Minus b, plus or minus the square root of b squared minus four a c over two a.

   
Q:

June 16, 2000

Dear Answerman:

What is the (scientific/popular) name of the condition when an infant rejects the mother's milk?

Thanx

Sam in CA

   
A:

Dear Sam in CA,

Okay, one more time. This is rain. This is rain on rugs. Any questions?

   
Q:

June 12, 2000

Dear Answerman ~~

I have recently purchased a very old and regal wedding gown at a second hand store.The asking price at the shop was $200.00,I paid $25.00 for the awsome dress!! The dress came with a book.The cover titles "The Wedding Gown of Mrs. Kenneth Hollings- worth Kennedy- Preserved For Posterity by HEIRLOOM Process".When opening it, there is an original photo of the dress, with a plaque in the picture that reads " Registration number 2656 Heirloom Laboratories July 1952".Under the picture on the frame says"Your Heirloomed gown prior to sealing".The next page explains the heirloom process,copyright on this page is 1949.Opening that page in an actual Warrantee with the registration number.This is in excellant condition!!! At the bottom of this page = HEIRLOOM LABORATORIES Division of Shure Brothers, Inc.Estab.1900 110 York Square New Haven, Conn. The last page is a certification, with a United States Testing co. seal. United States Testing Company, Inc. of Hoboken,N.j. made the test for Heirloom Laboratories,test number 5408,original,dated April 14,1949.Material tested=Heirloom Process and container.On the bottom reads"CAUTION - The use of this report,complete or in part,orthe name of the United States Testing Co,Inc.,for publicity,must receive the written approval of the company.Report applies only to the sample. The tag on the wedding gown claims to be a MAURER Original.My question,finally,is: I cannot bring up any history regarding the owner of the dress claimed on this book,the Heirloom Laboratories estab.1900 or The United States Testing Co,Inc.I can not even bring up designer info. on Wedding Gowns by Maurer.If you have any search engine help or answers in which will link me to any of the above,Please E-mail me.

Thank You

littlepills

   
A:

Dear littlepills,

That new McDonald's commercial is stupid. Now, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against them. But I'm sorry, that commercial with the young couple just sucks. There's two guys, and one is asking another if he kissed the girl yet, and then there's two girls, and one is asking if she kissed the guy yet. The guy says that tonight's the night, and then there driving around the city at night in his jeep. Stupid banter follows, and then they pull up to McDonalds. What the heck is that? Then they order at the drive though. Huh? Then they show a disgusting close up of ketchup dripping over a patty and some employee saying something like "we make it the way you like it." What the heck is that supposed to mean?

   
Q:

June 12, 2000

Hello.,

I am one of the oldest information suppliers in India. I have one of the massive offprint database of Indian Trade & Industry in fully illustrated formate. It is an original collection with millions of press clippings/advt.cuttings Trade catalogs plus all information sources.

It has taken me more than 10 long years in researching and collecting the same plus a huge investment. No borrowings...

This comes to you with a proven practical expertise what sells...how it sells on the name of Information in India.

I am looking for buyer/collaborator or financing partner to digitise it and bring it only. I look forward to further guidance/suggestions from your end.

Regards

S.Narain

   
A:

Dear S.,

I really have to disagree with you on this one. For the life of me, I cannot understand why people are against youth in Asia. I mean, what's the big deal? I don't see why it is unnatural or wrong. Heck, I know people who are youth in Asia, and I'm certainly not against them! Well, there is one guy, but that's beside the point.

   
Q:

June 7, 2000

Hi! I work as a translator for movies (subtitles) and I was wondering if you had any idea where I could get the lyrics to the song "Strange Eyes" by RZA for "Ghost Dog", as I need to stamp (=match dialogue with meter numbers for subtitles to appear) the sequence where Ghost Dog drives to his assignment to kill Handsome Harry, I think it is.

Thanks in advance,

Maria >^..^<

   
A:

Dear Maria,

Put an open box of baking soda in your fridge. That will get rid of the first smell. I don't know what to tell you about that other smell.

   
Q:

June 6, 2000

what is the equation for changing Farenheit to Celcius and back again

mstarke

   
A:

Dear mstarke,

Suspenders are okay. A belt is okay. Suspenders and a belt is a no-no. Unless you have a bolo tie. Then, maybe.

   
Q:

June 5, 2000

Mr. Answer Man,

I have a terrible sense of direction, and I wonder if I could ever improve that function.

I have some friends who seem to instinctively know which direction they're heading at (north, south, etc.) It seems in general, that my male friends have better sense of direction than my female friends. So is this a gender thing? Am I doomed for the rest of my life?

Is it something I can do to train my brain? If so, how? I get lost all the time while I'm driving and I'm really sick of it.

Please help.

Hopelessly lost in a maze

   
A:

Dear Hopelessly lost in a maze,

With the Democratic National Convention arriving in Los Angeles, I saw we do our own type of protest. The venue, Staples Center, is the home of, among others, the Lakers and the Clippers. They like to be called 'Staples Center' as opposed to 'the Staples Center.' Why? Who knows. The Los Angeles Times got in deep doo-doo for not disclosing a profit-sharing agreement with them, and in a lesser part, to kowtowing to their corporate demand to drop the 'the.' Watching the coverage is also amusing. For example, ABC's Peter Jennings does not use the 'the,' but the ABC Atlanta affiliate has a reporter in Los Angeles who is apparently in the dark, using 'the' as liberally as teenages like using like their own slang, you know? I say we join the protesters outside THE Staples Center and rechristen it The Staples The Center. It's twice as good a name as Staples Center.

   
Q:

June 2, 2000

HI ANSWERMAN MY NAME ISMICHELLE AND I AM INTERESTED IN THE ACTOR NAMED DENNIS STORHOI OF THE 13TH WARRIOR I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO EMAIL HIM OR SEND HIM A LETTER THROUGH THE POSTAL SERVICE WOULD YOU KNOW WHERE TO SEND THE LETTER I WOULD LOVE TO LET HIM KNOW HOW WONDERFUL I THINK HE IS HEHEHE THANKS ANSWER MAN I WOULD LOVE ANY INFO YOU CAN GIVE ME ABOUT HIM ONLNE INFO PICTURES, AND ANYTHING TO HELP ME TO FOLLOW HIS CAREER AND OTHER MOVIES HE MIGHT BE IN I AM IN THE STATE OF RHODE ISLAND IN THE USA AGAIN THANKS

XO MITCH

   
A:

Dear Mitch,

Trust me. When shaving, go with the grain. It lessens the chances of ingrown hairs. Ouch.

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